Waking up each morning is like Christmas, I turn my head and look at a smiling little chubby face who breaks out in a giggle when I catch him staring at me, he loves being caught in the act. Each day I watch with anticipation on what Daltons going to do today as everyday he does something new. The other day I was sitting with him on my lap singing "Dalton works out..look at that body!", yes that is what I was singing, no twinkle twinkle little star here, and he looked at me with one of those radiant smiles then broke out in a giggle, I don't know who was more startled me or him!

Another thing I am learning is that there is no book that teaches you how to be a perfect parent, you have to parent from the heart. I was so determined to start Dalton on a routine, the night finally came where he would get to eat (more like suck on) rice cereal, and this was the night he would start his schedule! Boy was I wrong. I had planned on bathing him, then putting him in his big boy highchair and feeding him with his big boy spoon as he graciously chewed up his cereal and smiled the whole time, then we would go in his nursery and rock him to sleep as we listened to "Disney Love Songs" on his little boom box his Daddy just bought him, then I would lovingly carry him to his bassinet in my room and put him to sleep. Did I mention how wrong I was??

So after a nice clean bath its time to feed him, I realize what a mistake this is as I have it a bit backwards, definitely should bathe AFTER we feed him! After putting him in his highchair and starting the rice cereal (Iv been so excited all day about this!) he spits it out at me, knocks the spoon out of my hands, grabs the little bowl and slings it out of my hands and then proceeds to rub it all over his face. After our food fight I decide its best to just start from scratch and do another bath, so far my schedule is not working out... after a nice clean outfit we go to his rocking chair..and after about ten minutes to my astonishment he is out like a light... so now for the big transfer as I hold my breath! As soon as I lay him down both his eyes pop open and he looks at me with accusation in his eyes as to say "how could you" and then the crying starts.... and it is quite loud. Everyone tells you, google included, to let them cry it out they will eventually fall asleep, this is much easier said then done. After about ten minutes I couldn't take it any longer and went and scooped up my Munchkin Head and felt about as tall as a pile of.. you get the drift.. and  Irocked him and loved on him as he cried in my arms wondering how I could leave him alone in a room crying.. yes I still feel guilty, can you tell?

So, there is no book on how to be the perfect parent. I am learning you do what your heart tells you to do, and if this makes me an imperfect mother so be it, I don't want to be perfect if that is the case. I would rather be the kind of mother that my mother was, I would rather be a bit unconventional and raise a child who adores me as I adore my mother but also has great respect for. I hope to be the kind of parent that Dalton is proud of and that in twenty years I look back and say " I may not have done everything right, but I did it my way, I can look back and feel no guilt at how I raised him and be proud at the young man he turned out to be"... in conclusion I hope to be like my mother, that would be the greatest accomplishment of all.

So.. what do you do when your eyes are bloodshot and you haven't slept well in 3 days, well the obvious answer is you write a blog.

Last night was a very eventful night, this is what a night out for me has turned into. I finally get Dalton to bed @ 11:00 and I chuckle as I walk to bed because I'm thinking how great of a character I would be on the Walking Dead, I mean I would outshine all the other zombies put together, I wonder if I should apply for a role as a cast member? I lay my head on my fluffy pillow and think "ahh Heaven" and ding ding ding you guessed it.. "waaaaaaaaa" so I pull myself up with the superhuman strength I didn't know I had and pick him up and feed him..again...I swear he has a tape worm. Well this goes on for a couple hours, I get a lovely 20 min of sleep and he's hungry again.. so obviously it can't be a growth spurt..something is wrong... I better do the first thing I do when I panic.. grab the thermometer!

After 3 attempts of taking his temperature, not easy by the way to do under an infants armpit as he is dog determined to roll over in any direction he can to ruin any chance you have of getting a temperature, so finally after achieving 3 reading of 95 degrees I start to panic..that's to low..what if he has some form of hypothermia ( yes I know..in hindsight it sounds ridiculous) so I do the only logical thing there is to do..I grab my other thermometer because its always good to have a stock of them and attempt the inconceivable challenge again of getting a temp. and ... its 96 degree..still low but better... hmmm I'd feel safer if I called the ER.

Well OF COURSE they say, "yea better bring him in, cant diagnose it over the phone".. I mean it is only 4 in the morning, after all can't be greedy I did get an hour of sleep so far..so we load up in the vehicle and make our way to the hospital.. and he giggles and coos the whole way thinking what a fun game this is.

To sum it up, hes perfectly fine and his temperature was a healthy 97.9 at the hospital...seems either I'm an idiot or both of my faithful thermometers were broken... by the way it was also daylight savings and I was unaware so the whole car ride to the ER i was praying the world wasn't ending and all our technology and tools were going haywire.

Welcome to my life.

I want this when I grow up........

Fun day idea!
How about a glass of fruit punch for a hot sunny day! Who said it had to be reserved for events like parties ect!

• Make lemonade (fresh or packaged whichever you prefer)
• Add in some Ginger Ale - 1/2 to 1/2
• Top it off with some Rainbow Sherbert

Now sit back and enjoy!

Sometimes I daydream.. to be perfectly honest I am quite guilty of daydreaming a lot, sometimes even in the middle of a conversation I can feel my eyes glossing over and I know I have a blank stare on my face, I am somewhere else. They continue talking and I nonchalantly nod my head, make little grunting noises in agreement, and even add in an occasional smile (I always hope I'm not smiling in a place where I should be frowning or saying, "oh my goodness gracious!") and continue on in my little fantasy..it could be on the glossy waters of Loch Ness where I envision myself walking along the banks and picking up pebbles to put in my pocket and treasure forever, much like me and Mark did when we went back in October as we kept vigilant watch over the loch hoping to see Nessie, or maybe I'm dreaming about being in a castle built out of gray aged stone with willow trees surrounding my keep and a large portcullis keeping out intruders willing to trample on my private creation and I sit there in my tower at my window seat looking over my land with a good romance novel in my hand, preferably one that involves a highlander in the misty highlands of Alba (Scotland) and I am at peace.... yes I am guilty of daydreaming.

So many times this unfortunate event happens.....

It's funny what we can do when we are forced to multi-task... 4 a.m. dog has to go out, and you realize your son has a dirty diaper, so in the middle of changing the diaper (and praying he doesn't pee in his own eye..or yours for that matter) the dog starts barking.. closing up the diaper as you walk to get the dog..closing the fridge that you forgot to close with your hip (don't deny it ladies we all need some caffeine in the middle of the night) using your free hands to stick a binky in the little ones mouth as he screams bloody murder because you dare to do something but dote on him.. letting the dog in as you reprimand him for waking every neighbor you have that actually still tolerates you, learning to hold the baby's head as you hop from one foot to another as you curse the most vile words you can think of (in your head) because you stepped on ANOTHER toy..dog's or baby's who knows... and finally, yes finally you get them all back to bed and you get to pee..all by yourself... until 5 seconds later you hear the baby scream because he wants to eat 5 minutes ago.

Well, this is my very first post! Where to even begin?? This is so personal, its basically like a virtual journal into my life and...well I'm a very private person so to say the least this is going to at times get very uncomfortable for me! I'm sure your wondering, why in hades would do I do a blog if I'm so "private" as I say..well I'm currently a junior in college and am taking some literature classes and kind of realized, I've always loved writing! Along with loving writing comes loving books, I mean they go hand in hand don't they? So basically I'm a book loving private nerd!

All of that being said my life gets pretty chaotic and comical because not only am I an avid hermit nerd, I'm also a brand new momma to little "D" and being a new mom brings all kinds of sticky, messy, scary situations! Just last night I was broken in pretty good, D decides he doesn't want to go to bed until 10 pm... and then 5 minutes later has a blow out diaper, all you moms know what I mean the kind that goes straight up their back the kind you didn't even think was possible let alone that it could come out of such a small little person, so after a nice bath, his daddy Mark, goes to put a clean diaper on and gets a steady stream of pee all up his shirt (and of course our first reaction is to cover it with our hands so his hands got it pretty good too!) and then you guessed it..another bath. This is my life.

If you asked me 5 years ago, or better yet even 2 years ago where I would be when I was 26 this is not what I would have said. I never thought I'd be that woman, the stay at home mom who's life is all about her baby (and Conner, I can't forget my other son, the furry one, my big German Shepherd..who thinks hes a Yorkie) the woman in the store or hair salon who goes on and on about her baby and your secretly thinking "gosh I wish she would SHUT UP!"... yep that's who I've turned into but...I love every stinkin minute of it!

My blog is probably not the standard blog, or who knows maybe it is, all I know is I'm a literature junkie and hoping to do a little freelance writing so this blog, my blog, is where I'm going to pour all my thought and witty moments of frustration and probably some good old sappy moments too but the one things I can promise you is that its all real, and its all tangible. Happy reading my fellow nerdy book lovin hermits (and everyone else can leave.. j/k of course).